Monday, 30 March 2009

The law of three becomes the law of five

As previously mentioned on this blog, I have a theory that in certain places - places where things perhaps might not work as well as you might think they possibly could, which also tend to be less developed places - that there are always three things broken and/or awaiting repair in our house. It is almost impossible to break this cycle - as soon as one toilet is fixed, the sink starts to drip; you get the tap fixed and the front door stops shutting; the front door is repaired and your car breaks down, meanwhile the DVD player has gone on strike, then the food processor goes on the blip, the singing kettle blows its whistler into the bin and you accidentally throw it away... all these things have happened to me.

I am beginning to think that Kazakhstan may be a special place in more ways than the obvious. 

Could it be that Kazakhstan is the land of ... wait for it... five? 

Not being a religious person I, nonetheless, pray that this theory is rapidly disproved. 

But let me look at the recent facts: 

Having bought 200 pounds worth of toner for my printer to ensure supplies for some time, printer refuses to use the Cyan tank. Everything coming out pink. Cannot fix. 
Electric gates stop working (having half-opened but not quite wide enough for me to drive out to a meeting at school for which I was already cutting it fine, but ensuring that I was 15 minutes late by the time I had got the system onto manual) - htese have now been fixed, it took five grown men two hours. 
Get back from school and notice that the freezer has defrosted itself - or perhaps the door was left open, I am not sure. Then find that the fridge is also warm - broken. Have to cook several tonnes of meat before it goes off. 
DVD player refusing to play all but the 10-pack Tom & Jerry DVD set - how much more of that sound track can I stand? 
Working my way through 7th weekend of no husband (permanently in office) but with school friend staying over, so plenty of cooking etc, notice the sound of running water. Check bathroom for tap left running by children - no - then step in pool of cold greasy water streaming out of dish washer. Nine days and counting - time to fetch the marigolds! 
Computer loses all inbox messages (more than 5000 messages) - this is unfixable. 
Hand held blender whizzy bit falls out every time I use it. Burning my fingers to stuff it back in fifteen times to fully blend soups. 
Computer brain haemorrages and does its weird thing. 
Baby presses button on external security door which once again crashes down onto mosquito net and fuses the mechanism making it impossible to open or close mozzie door (we need to replace hinge mozzie net with sliding door). 

And so it goes on... 

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