Monday, 14 September 2009

Spaghetti Bolognese and cupcakes

We decided to take a proactive stance on the subject of eldest daughters "lost" friends at school. On Tuesday, she hastily copied out an invitation to five girls in her year to come back to our house on Friday afternoon for a play after school and delivered them to her classmates.

And Friday saw a flurry of activity as new super-nanny and I prepared the house for this important event! The house was scrubbed (we even cleaned the sofa!), we visited five supermarkets looking for icing sugar for cupcakes (there was none...), raspberry icing-less buns were nonetheless prepared. And a chocolate and banana loaf for those who don't like raspberries.  I made bolognese sauce and pesto in case anyone was a vegetarian, roses were picked and arranged from the garden, and juice and tea was prepared for the girls' refreshment. 

I think they had a good time. Five girls is a lot to entertain for three hours, and my daughter took it all in her stride, invented lots of games and looked after her mates. They watched a little TV, but when I pointed out to her that one of the the five probably couldn't understand the english in the film, my daughter encouraged them all to stop and go back into the garden for some more hide and seek. There were no arguments to speak of, and it was really nice to see her with a small crowd of girls for a change. 

Seeing her running around with her mates was great. Our lifestyle means that we have to put up with losing friends regularly, but we can also make new friends quite quickly. It is brutal and upsetting at times, but by putting in enough effort, we can make the best of a difficult situation. I think the main thing for us as parents, is to be aware that from time to time the kids need a helping hand to manage their social life. But also that they have to get on with it themselves, be friendly and welcoming to their classmates, and learn to look after their guests.


  1. I agree that when you live abroad/opt for a different lifestyle, it is down to the whole family to make special efforts. However, with raspberry icing-less buns and choc and banana loaf on offer, I'm sure your daughter will have some life-long friendships :-)

  2. Hi there!! I just found your blog through expat mums and wanted to say it's great!! Although I no longer am expatriated in a far corner of the world (though Scotland can be argued to be 20years behind in many respects) your posts really bring back memories of time spent in India and East Germany. Fantastic writing!

  3. Wow thank you Slugs (can I call you that? ha ha) and Alice. I love doing this. For a while there I thought that my blog was becoming a bit home body. but there have been enough expatty things lately for me to feel that I definitely belong in the Mums Abroad category!